Ignoring repeated warnings from her Mammy, four year old Siobhan O’Rourke insisted on pulling faces at her older brother Eamon despite a forecast of changing winds.
“I told the little scallywag that if the wind changes you’ll be stuck with that face forever” said her distraught mother Eileen. “Eamon had been teasing the wee thing unmercifully, and it all became too much for her. She screwed up her face and stuck out her tongue, just as the pleasant Westerly breeze completely swung to the East, and the damage was done.”
Not only is Siobhan’s sweet little face now forever looking daggers, her speech has been terribly affected. “Poor little monkey can no longer retract her tongue, so it has become awfully difficult to know what she’s saying. We had a terrible argument at morning tea. I gave her a biscuit to have with her milk, but the greedy little minx was demanding two biscuits; ‘I want two, I want Two…’ her scowling little face cried with her little tongue pointing at me.”
Turns out that Siobhan didn’t want an extra biscuit, but instead desperately wanted to poo, which Eileen discovered somewhat too late.
“What’s to become of her? How will she take her First Holy Communion looking like this? What boy is ever going to be interested in a girl with a perpetual scowl?” pleaded her distraught mother.
The O’Rourke family has been saying the Rosary around the clock in the hope of divine intervention. In the mean time they are scouring the literature on old wives’ tales for a cure, and are pleading with little Siobhan not to tell a single fib for fear her perennial protruding tongue will become covered in black spots, only adding to her woes.